Had the intellectual achievements of human culture evolved during a revolution based on living systems in the natural world rather than one of rapid industrial growth and resource consumption, we might be experiencing interconnectedness instead of divisiveness during this time of social and ecological crisis.
A nature-focused revolution embracing humans as an integral part of the Earth’s natural systems would have instilled a deeper understanding of the wonders of the human body as a living system imbued with inner intelligence, as well as the intelligence of the non-human living world. This perspective, held by Native Americans, would have helped to create sustainable human communities that flourish by connecting, collaborating, cooperating and communicating.
With such approaches as wisdom circles, story circles, power of eight intention circles, support groups, prayer circles and dialogue circles exploring conflict solutions, Western minds are just beginning to comprehend how small-community experiences of fellowship and communion can assuage feelings of separation and isolation, and create inner experiences of wholeness and belonging.
Mentoring Each Other
Although not always sharing a common geographical location, small communities formed around common interests and shared values enable emotional healing. The ManKind Project (MKP), which describes itself as a “men’s community for the 21st century,” has more than 1,000 peer-facilitated groups in 22 countries in which men mentor each other through their life passages.
“In our MKP communities, there’s a sense of shared commitment and the shared values of accountability, authenticity, compassion, generosity, integrity, respect, leadership and multicultural awareness, along with a shared vision pointing us in the direction we want to go together,” says Boysen Hodgson, MKP-USA communications director. “While MKP’s mission statement informs our work, in New Warrior Adventure training, each man creates a personal mission statement. Mine is, ‘I transform culture by designing change, building bridges and co-creating space for connection.’”
According to Hodgson, when a man shares how he hears his inner voice for the first time along with his story in another man’s story, he becomes aware of his interior capacities and cultivates internal and external listening skills. By sharing personal stories, men experience epiphanies that can result in connections and bonding.
Sharing Sacred Space
Jean Shinoda Bolen, a Jungian psychiatrist, activist and author of Moving Toward the Millionth Circle: Energizing the Global Women’s Movement, encourages everyone to follow a path with soul and take on a personal assignment that contributes to change, while relying on the support of circle communities of like-minded individuals. “Fundamental principles applicable to any group include creating sacred space, listening with compassion and for wisdom, speaking from the heart and personal experience, inviting silence and reflection when needed, taking responsibility for your experience and your impact on the circle, keeping the confidence of the circle and making decisions when needed by consensus,” says Bolen, whose active events include a prayer circle and another with women she has been together with since the 1980s.
“The more frequently a circle meets to fully witness one another’s life stories, including all the changes and crises, a growing trust and heart connection occurs and a coherent energy field is created,” says Bolen. At the beginning of her circle gatherings, upon hearing the tone of a Tibetan bowl, she says, everyone immediately drops into coherence; a state of connectedness in which the whole is greater than the sum of the individual parts.
Cultivating Deep Listening
As the host of New Dimensions, a nationally syndicated radio program that addresses cultural shifts, Justine Willis Toms has deeply explored interconnectedness with some of the greatest minds on the planet, including the Dalai Lama and physicist David Bohm. Referring to her circle communities as “friends of the heart,” she enthuses, “When I am deeply listening to another or speaking authentically aloud in a circle of trust, I get to hear myself in a way that I don’t if I’m only listening to what is in my head.”
Recalling a tumultuous time in her life, Toms relates a profound healing experience that occurred in a circle community in which she and her husband had been participating since the 1980s. “This particular circle usually gathers for an entire weekend. On one, I arrived in deep distress—so much so that on Friday I began pouring out my fears, anxiety, blame and judgements. I raged through the night and didn’t stop until after breakfast on Saturday, when I felt complete, totally heard, emotionally healed and revived.”
From a sense of peace and clarity, Toms knew that healing occurred because of the circle’s capacity for deep listening. “We know and trust the true genius that each of us is, and we know how to not be afraid for each other when life is in a rollercoaster cycle and we’re at the bottom, but don’t want to pull the brake because we’ll never have the momentum to go back up. This is the power of a circle of friends of the heart who love you,” says Toms, who shares a favorite African saying, “‘A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by the mistakes you’ve made or the dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly, your wholeness when you are broken, your innocence when you’re feeling guilty and your purpose when you are confused.’”
